In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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