did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
