i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
