Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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