1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
