the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I died a long time ago.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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