I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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