Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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