Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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