Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize