Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
