Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize