Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
