there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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