when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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