It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You are a genius and a whore.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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