if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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