Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize