Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
