As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
