I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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