you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
