if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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