At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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