Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
