It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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