is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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