then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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