whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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