so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
