The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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