I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize