he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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