What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
