Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
