our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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