She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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