it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
