So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
