Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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