I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
