Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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