in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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