he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
