8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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