a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
