so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
