Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
