It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
