do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
