glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
