So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
