I can text with my tongue
he puts the penis in happiness.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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