Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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