yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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