just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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