He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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