it glows. i had to have it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
