he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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