She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
