the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
