I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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