im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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