I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
