She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
