i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
