There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
